Creative Procrastination: I still haven’t done my tax return but I did download my brain (and update my website)

Every January I fail to do things in the correct order. I am predictably sloth-like once the practical left brain is told to do administrative gubbins. The business stuff is not my favourite, and tax….ugh….But the silver lining is that, in avoiding the arduous task in hand, other slightly more creative chores suddenly appear to be fascinating and spring to the top of my agenda, I mean I’m writing this blog post- yet another method of dodging the deed. Anyway, I did whatever any artist does when they don’t want to add together numbers…I updated my website. It’s something I wish I did more frequently and I suppose it is one incentive for keeping this blog…but it’s been reduced down to a once a year job. In rejigging and reviving I’ve come to realise, the process isn’t just for the sake of keeping up appearances and staying relevant for client work purposes (although yeh all that stuff, and it’s nice to retrospectively look at what you made and actually paid for all those bags of coffee and haribo). The ‘renovations’ are incredibly uselful for shaking up the noggin. Flicking through old and newer work, comparing styles and themes….. if I’m lucky there’s a feeling of evolution rather than regression……liking and and disliking certain pieces, questioning and confirming concepts and so on, it’s a good thing.

Website update whoop! But now what…..

What the update did do was to remind me what work had really given me a buzz. What was I most proud of, what should I be showcasing, what do I really want to dedicate more time to this next twelve months? I have been moving towards concept and storytelling illustration more and more. What I enjoy is conceiving a project from start to finish, from a rough sketch or a slapdash line of poetry to something cohesive and polished. I like narratives. I like the gradual unravelling of a story through a combination of words and images. Although children’s book illustration is certainly not off the list, what I’ve felt I wanted to explore is a more diverse audience. Picture books for adults are less common, but art books with commentary aren’t entirely niche……I suppose I’m considering some sort of hybrid. Reflecting on the work I had the most fun with last year; the sci-fi horror concept work for Climax film fest got me relishing in neon light brush and illustrating for folk-horroresque Sweetmeat had a more delicate monochrome approach……then the self induced daily churn out of glitter demons in my Inktober effort was another major highlight, I like the squeeze of this month; whilst drowning in unnecessary deadlines sounds very strange and masochistic, it’s the limitations of time which catapult me out of my generally slower thinking comfort zone and I end up with a bunch of concepts which I can later expand upon. So these things felt the most creative and rewarding…… The spanner thrown into my works here is the parallel interest in animation and motion visuals……but perhaps one thing could bleed into another. It gets stressful thinking I have to create parameters….but equally as menacing is trying to attach a zillion strings to an indecisive bow. For now I have decided not only to discuss my artistic blunders through medieval weaponry metaphors, but to focus on themes and real-life pages which could eventually comprise a book. No rigid motif just yet, a working title which I’m keeping secret for a wee while longer, and an optimistic hope that in doing the work all that will collate and the meaning will miraculously emerge. As I continue to chuck things on this blog over the next few months, hopefully a project outline will take form and I will be able to write with some more awareness of what I’m trying to achieve and convey with a pinch more clarity at the very least. So…..the next post about this can only be an improvement on the current flimsy and vague outline….as of today, I think I’m putting together an illustrated book of auto fiction…… A mythical and supernatural memoir…..I think, something like that. I have scraps of paper with nostalgic rantings scribbled across them in the dead of night. I have sketches of my child self floating in space…… I’ve had to dangle the creative carrot of this book just far enough away that I get this ungodly tax return completed before I get too absorbed in what I want to be an absolute passion project. Too much pressure and unattainable goals verses realistic yearly achievement is key. I need to be okay with making a few things well, or even just the one thing….And there is lots more time for other ventures to percolate. No 100mph attempts on a zillion different projects. Calm down, enjoy the making. That’s the dream.