Freelance lull? Commission yourself….a hand-painted gothic mermaid sign, yes please!

In those moments of crippling anxiety, when your brain suddenly determines that you will never get hired again and that your inbox will be flooded only with mocking tumbleweed…….my go-to is to keep on making. And, perhaps try even to ‘enjoy’ what can feel like an abyss of ‘do I still exist’ lulls. Freelance life ebbs and flows, and reframing the lull as an opportunity to finally dig in deep to personal projects, is now why I now actually look forward to them.

On the off chance nobody ever commissions me to paint a gothic siren sign for an elderly narrowboat, I commissioned myself. What is even the point of living on an old boat if you can’t conjure up a mermaid mythology to accompany it…….this was a lot of fun. The Legend Of Lady Banbury is brewing……

‘And you sang, “Sail to me

Sail to me; let me enfold you

Here I am, here I am

Waiting to hold you

Did I dream you dreamed about me?

Were you here when I was full-sail?

Now my foolish boat is leaning

Broken lovelorn on your rocks‘

The music is one of my favourite song covers ‘Song to the Siren’ by This Mortal Coil, remixed and with a splash of real mermaid calls from the depths of Wolvercote canal.

Seed to snag……surreal animation

From the tiny acorn to the yogi death sprite. An animated lifecycle….

I am inspired by the incredible processes in nature which, when really given some thought are dark and beautiful and miraculous and terrifying. Seeds fall and germinate and grow into towering giants. Creatures crawl within the skin and the sap. Nutrient nibbling networks nourishing beneath and above.

My death sprites embody both life and death; they dance between realms, darting from trickster to sage. They are small but mighty, hiding and seeking, experiencing a fast and a slow seed to snag. Confuzzled shadows and light, through play and tragedy reveal the good and the bad. The death sprite is me. It is you. It is all of us magnificent meatsacked brain basins.

Also I looked up the meaning of ‘Atopos’ because I am forever fascinated by Bjork’s creative choices…… ‘Atopos is a genus of carnivorous air-breathing land slugs’. I’m guessing this is a critique of the human race. And instantly I want to draw the metamorphosis of human to slug.

A quick experiment drawn up in #procreateanimation

Edited in #inshot

Pure music joy Bjork ‘Atopos’ side project remix

‘Confuzzled’ I have coined from ‘confused’ and ‘puzzled’ which is my default demeanour. I discovered to my joy this is also the name of the United Kingdom convention created to celebrate the genre of anthropomorphics and the furry fandom. Perhaps there’s a larper in me afterall……

Animation drawn frame by frame in procreate.